EVERYONE gets nervous in some (or all) of situations like these. EVERYONE. The difference is that some people let their nerves get the better of them, and others use that nervous energy to their advantage.
Tony Robbins says that the biggest fear most people have is looking back on their lives and not doing the things they wanted to do most. Why didn’t they do it? They couldn't get their arms around their fears. Fear isn’t always bad; it alerts us to threats and reminds us of what we care about most.
Your heart races, your palms sweat, you feel “butterflies” in your belly, your mouth gets dry, and you start fidgeting with your hands.
Even the most confident people get nervous sometimes. Controlling nerves is an inside job, and here are a few tips to help you get centered.
Here’s How You Can Regain Control of Your Nerves:
1. Have a positive mindset: Perception is key. When your heart is racing, try not to view it as a scary thing. Instead of saying to yourself “Oh my God, my heart is beating so fast might explode" (this will only create more anxiety), take a few long, deep breaths through your nose. Imagine your heart beating is proof you are alive and achieving your dreams. It is telling you that you are meant for great things, and now is the time to act. Electricity is an awesome current that illuminates a light bulb. Your heart is the powerhouse that will energize you while you take on a new challenge. The energy is good! It is captivating and contagious.
2. Don’t believe the lies your mind is telling you: If you hear “I can’t do this” “She's going to say no," “I’ll never get the job” “They’ll boo me off the stage,'' acknowledge it for what it is, FEAR and know that fear is False Evidence Appearing Real. Thoughts have a “domino effect”. One negative thought lead to another and another, and when we put out negative energy, we attract negative reactions. A positive thought will lead to more positive thinking and also get more positive responses. Practice meditation and visualization. Visualize she says yes and feel it in every bone in your body. Picture your corner office and have a detailed image of how you’ll spend your workdays. Really feel the success, and the inner critic will shrink and hide.
Ask yourself what the underlying fear under the fear is. Ok, maybe the girl does say no. So what? What does it mean? It's not a reflection of YOU; it's a reflection of HER. She's just too blind to see what a fantastic guy you are. Your worth isn't in her hands. Neither does the manager who didn’t hire you have the authority to validate your value and skill as an employee. Did you know that Walt Disney, JK Rowling, Steve Jobs, U2 and countless others had numerous rejections before they had the slightest taste of success? Did you know that musicians such as Madonna, Nickleback, Amy Winehouse, and Rihanna were booed off stages? No one wants to experience these challenging experiences, but the point is we all survive, and the worst never materializes. Anyone successful has dozens of failure stories, but they didn't let fear get in the way, and they pressed on.
3. Plan and practice: Think about what you want to say to the girl. If you have a friend you trust to be honest with you, run it by them. Research for an interview but learning about the company and the position. Create intelligent questions to ask. Give a speech in front of a mirror or record yourself and use it to find the spots you shine and those that you want to polish up. The more you plan and practice, the more confidence you will have to combat nerves.
Sometimes changing our thinking by ourselves is hard.If you’ve tried and haven’t had the success you desire, try working with someone experienced in overcoming limiting beliefs. Coaches are professionals who specialize in areas such as relationships, career development, presentation skills, or personal growth (and many more). Life Coach Library offers a convenient, RISK-FREE opportunity to experience up to 3 coaching sessions ON US.
FREE download: The 14 Day Confidence Challenge.