For a country like India, dating culture still remains a taboo. The mere mention of being on some dating app can often earn you smirks, judgmental looks and if you are daring enough to still go for it, then maybe a couple of weird experiences ranging from bad to worse to even crazy and dangerous! Although, in recent days, people have actually welcomed the concept of online dating culture in the metro cities and Tier I Towns. The dating apps and sites are taking a leap towards the small towns as well since Indians, though are not open about their sexual urges publicly but they do have needs which are emotional and physical. No doubt we are standing at 1.3 billion! Ola
Coming back to the dating culture in small town! For understanding how the experience would actually be, a small pilot study was done by a group of final year media students from a media institute in Pune. We are all aware about the ‘send bobs and vagene’ messages and creepy intros that woman get on dating apps. But that is actually very true. 82.7 % males have said that they look for hook ups and are only there for short term catch ups. However, only 13% woman have agreed that their only motive to be on dating apps is rather sexual than for any serious relationship goals. We can understand this ratio by the fact that small towns often fail to understand the basic human needs of the masses and since a satisfactory sexual relation is a rare experience, dating sites have helped then to express their desires and be upfront with it without any commitments.
Let us also put a light on how the dating sites have helped the LGBTQ community. The special section where they can connect with people of their sexual orientation has been highly appreciated. As a 21st century being, we need to address the sensitive issues like this and make a better world for them. And we know how difficult it is at first place in smaller town. Though there have not been many responses on this section in the study but the rare ones that were available were positive.
Apart from the physical intimacy, the study on dating apps has also revealed another positive side of the user experience. A few dating sites have a feature of connecting you with like minded people with shared interests from your area. For example, if you are a book worm or a creative bud, you can actually connect with people who can share the same thoughts. Sites like OK Cupid, Sapio and Bumble has enabled several user interface features like Bio, Q&A, views and so. Based on the answers the users put in those columns, one can find a match which they thing would share mutual interests. It is a big relief for people who are afraid of social interactions and opening up, which is called ‘ice-breaker’ conversations.
Last year, a special training center for Tinder users in Delhi had hit the news. We have seen many successful couple stories through Tinder in India. Tinder stands at the first position among the most favored dating application in the country. This remains the same for smaller towns as well. We have evaluated some responses on the platforms like Reddit and Quora about the dating experiences in the small town. What have been uncovered is crazy and we would like to let you know through pointers below:
- Most men are there for hookups
- 90% time woman don’t turn up and when they do, their expectations are very weird.
- Even if the girl wants to casually date, the social restrictions and societal norms doesn’t allow her to do it with complete freedom and without being judged.
- Some men have come across woman who is only there for sexual service on paid basis.
- People do not disclose identity.
- Woman often faces harassment in inbox and creepy messages.
Well, what we see are the results of the social stigma attached around the open dating culture. Small towns have to cover a long way to actually embrace the dating culture maturely. In a conclusion we would add some common feedbacks and suggestions that dating site users would recommend their counterparts to make it a better experience. For a healthy and matured dating culture, woman suggest men to be less judgmental and more courteous so that they can actually set their fears and stigmas around open dating aside and trust them. While men recommend woman to trust them a little more and open up about their views on casual dating before having to end up in some awkward situation.