You probably know that divorce is quite hard to take. Even if you are the one that filed the
divorce papers online. Even if you are one of those who faced it a couple of times, it might still hit you a lot if you are not prepared well. Even if you are prepared, be ready to face some harsh times. Yet, that is all said about a situation where you do not have any kids. That is the situation that you can still handle alright, as it only affects you. However, if you have a kid, it might be quite difficult to be able to keep track of your emotions while also having to worry about theirs. The situation is better if you are still alright about talking to your ex-spouse. However, in many cases, you will have to rely on yourself in this situation. And your kids need you a lot too. Sure, your ex-partner might be a perfect parent, but they would need your support anyway. However, for those who are just starting in this situation, it might be difficult to find the best words to say and the best things to do. Therefore, this article is here to shed some light on how to handle situations like this and not be hurt too.
1. Tell them that honesty matters
Your parents surely told you that you have to be honest with them about everything that you do. However, as time went by, you realized that you are getting punished for the things you tell them. Which taught you to keep to yourself instead of trying to reach out for some help to your parents. Well, that is something that you have to avoid in your family. Remember, you are not going to spend that much time with your kids if you are a co-parent. Therefore, being able to talk to your kids in the best possible way is crucial. So, be honest with them. If they are old enough and ask why you and your ex-partner divorced tell them the truth. That will teach them that they have to be honest, as you are. Tell them that you are not going to punish them for the wrongdoings. Instead, you are going to punish them for not telling something. That will encourage conversations about their feelings, which will help you to understand them in a better way.
2. Their feelings matter
This is extremely important if you are willing to become a good co-parent. Your kids have to know that they can come to you when they have some problems with their other parent. That will surely happen. And you have to make sure that they come to you in that case, instead of keeping that inside or sharing with some random people. If you react to every time that they express some feelings, they will see that it is something that matter for you, meaning that they will want to tell you everything. Remember, feelings are not about bad things only. If they tell you that they love you, make sure to respond accordingly. Also, allowing them to express themselves about bad things is even more important. Show some support and they will try to talk to you more.
3. Keep yourself in shape
If you see this advice as something that mentions your body, you are completely wrong. Sure, being in shape after a lot of stress is important too, as your body might also be weak after this much of various things done to your brain and heart. However, in this case, being in shape means that you have to keep your life in shape. Be active, try new things, live a happy life. That will inspire your kids a lot, as you are still their parent. That will also make them feel like they want to do that too, so they would want to spend time with you. Nobody would want to talk to a freak who is sitting in the house the whole day, watching the TV.